NOTES ON RETIREMENT: #5 Loosen Your Grip

#5. Loosen your grip. If you were a control freak, would you really want to stay that way forever? Would you really want everything to proceed based on YOUR plans and expectations? Do you think so highly of yourself that you cannot allow others to rise to the occasion? Agonizing for control freaks like you and moí, but you’ve got to unlearn a few things.




Control Freaks manipulate situations. They impose their preferences on others and force others to change, so as to avoid having to change themselves. They exercise power over others to escape an inner emptiness. To “buy” this power, they may sometimes appear to be “spoiling” you when in truth, they are trying to gain “power” over you.

I remember an old friend warning of some people I was associating with. In his own words, he said “these guys are trying to buy your respect”. Sure, they were nice to me. “Spoiling me” may be too strong to describe the treatment I enjoyed from them, but yes, it was nearly that. Problem is you don’t realize it at the time. And we ourselves may not also realize it when we ourselves do the same.


Think of it like when you wish to spoil a child just so you’d gain that child’s affection or even just a momentary attention. Sure, you can earn a child’s affection or another man’s respect, but the key word is EARN. And earning affection and/or respect requires tons of sincerity and some investment of time and effort. Unfortunately, many take shortcuts. To them, it is far easier and more immediate to “spoil” you. What they fail to understand is whatever affection and respect they may have earned can only be superficial, momentary and just as insincere. Just what control freaks deserve, perhaps.


About lifeisacelebration

Retired early, but still active. Very involved in celebrating life! I love traveling because I always come back with less cobwebs in my mind. It is as if I empty my mind of all clutter upon departure, and fill it with many happy memories upon arrival. I also like the idea that life is so focused on the present, and my senses are all playing to listen, feel , see, smell and taste everything novel or not so new. The fact that I only have to choose from a limited wardrobe, or use the same pair of shoes throughout my holiday , or work and survive on a single budget make life so much simpler. Sure, you sometimes get a raw deal in a few trips, or feel hassled by flight delays and cancellations, but the joys and simplicity of the present far outweigh the negatives. Oh, btw, I always end up gaining more friends after each trip. Many I kept......
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